We all knew Luis Suarez was a complete tosser who also happened to be a racist, a cheat and an oxygen thief right? What we did not perhaps know until this last weekend is that Suarez’ shiteness doesn’t stop there. He now can add the title of ‘thug’ to his shit list. This is the sods second assault that he has vetted out with that turd trap he calls his mouth. Handball Lecter’s bite must surely rank alongside some of these as one of the worst moments of thuggery seen on a sports field…
Gary Pagel – WP vs. France 1993
The Bok prop was banned for 6 months in 1993 after he almost rucked the face of Jean-Francois Tordo off during a game between Western Province and France. Tordo who was the captain of France at the time required 50 stitches and a ‘surgical rebuilding of the face’. Gary was of course ‘going for the ball’. Yeah right.
Johan Le Roux – South Africa vs. New Zealand 1994
Another Bok prop who became infamous for biting Sean Fitzpatrick’s ear in a test match in New Zealand in 1994. Le Roux was banned for 18 month’s and true to form responded that “For an 18-month suspension, I feel I probably should have torn it off. Then at least I could say, ‘look, I’ve returned to South Africa with the guy’s ear’.” What a horrible piece of work he was.
Kevin Yates – Bath vs. London Scottish 1998
English and Bath prop forward Kevin Yates was banned for 6 months after biting Simon Fenn’s ear so hard that it required 25 stiches. 25 stitches in an ear! That must have been some bite! The match official remarked, “The player was clearly missing some part of his ear lobe. There was a lot of blood.” No shit Sherlock.
Richard Loe – NPC final 1992
1992 was a big year for Dick Loe. He started off the year by elbowing Wallaby winger Paul Carozza in the face during a Bledisloe Cup match in Brisbane. The best was yet to come though when Dick would go on to eye-gouge All Black team mate Greg Cooper during the NPC final. Loe was banned for 26 weeks and sat out of All Black action for 12 months. Dick.
Roy Keane – Manchester United vs. Manchester City 2001
Alf-Inge Haaland a Norwegian playing for City had his football career ended by a footed assault that Keane claimed was tackle. Keane reportedly said ‘Gotcha’ as he stood over Haaland. Saying the two had some history would be like saying John Terry and Anton Ferdinand have had their differences. Keane showed his inner Luiz by declaring his lack of remorse in an interview, “No. Even in the dressing room afterwards I had no remorse. My attitude was, ‘What goes around comes around’. He got his just rewards. My attitude is an eye for an eye.” Haaland’s career lasted a mere 48 more minutes as he never recovered.
Mike Tyson – Tyson vs. Holyfield 1997
This has to be the most infamous bite in sporting history. It happened in the 3rd round of what can only be described as a brawl. Tyson bit off a piece of Holyfield’s ear. I guess getting away with a ‘bite’ from a man who once said ‘I want to eat his children’ in reference to Lennox Lewis, Evander Holyfield can probably count himself lucky.
Eric Cantona – Man United vs. Crystal Palace 1995
Cantona had just been red carded for kicking another player in a tackle. A member of the public seated in row 1, Matthew Simmons then took a two footed karate kick that Mr. Miagi would have been proud of to the chest for allegedly throwing a missile at Cantona and racially abusing him. Eric followed up the kick with a few blows and was later charged with assault.
John Hopoate – Wests Tigers vs. North Queensland Cowboys 2001
The NRL’s most suspended player of the modern era made a serious stink when he inserted his digit into 3 different North Queensland Cowboy’s bottoms during a game of Rugby League. Hopoate claimed he had been wrongly fingered and had only been trying to ‘wedgie’ his opponents but 12 different camera angles proved otherwise. It is rumoured his nickname ‘chocolate fingers’ wasn’t to do with his dietary habits.
Ron Artest – Detroit Pistons vs. Indiana Pacers, 2004
After an on court brawl Artest was lying on the officials table for some bizarre reason. A fan threw a beer which hit him. The big man took exception hurdled boarding and beat up the wrong fan. Oops. The pursuing aftermath lead to a total of 9 players being suspended, 5 players being charged with assault and 5 fans facing criminal charges. No wonder this game was dubbed ‘Malice at the Palace’. You have to watch the video to understand the carnage.